Post-Hypnotic Return

“Ever heard of post-hypnotic suggestion? You suggest something during hypnosis, which is planted in your subconscious and you act it out when you are awake. Still haven’t figured it out?”

- Antagonist in OldBoy, a wealthy revenge artist and suicidal incestuous jailer

________

It’s the day of the old small town American road race, 4th of July. Moving out from the shoreline vista, the stubbly green grass shades my periphery in a comforting hold, a grounded reason to be. As I continue on, I’m almost ahead, winning. Then, I lose my direction. I go my own way.

Now, I race against myself. Do I try winning, or simply enjoy the home forest surroundings, the dense thicket, a tragic green wintering my eyes with the loss of childhood, riddled with the muscular pain of defeat, swallowed in the haste of my own speed? 

I meet others on the way running towards me, however, I deliberately go my own way now. The forest welcomes, I run with abandon, at my own pace, towards my own need. The road meanders welcomingly. 

I know the end is near, though I entertain the seaside heat, met with proud ocean and a longing for unity with the open sound, struggling to hear my lofty footsteps, touched upon the gravelly now. The escalating tide shows me a path back to face the finish line.

________

Road

"Traveling over a rough, unknown road in a dream, signifies new undertakings, which will bring little else than grief and loss of time. If the road is bordered with trees and flowers, there will be some pleasant and unexpected fortune for you...To lose the road, foretells that you will make a mistake in deciding some question of trade, and suffer loss in consequence. To see a road in your dreams indicates your sense of direction and the pursuit of goals." (iDream)

________

Sunday moans,
voicing the rhythmic confusion
in darkened & cultured blocks

...

with smoky tears wrung dry
the lover's bedroom clothes

- excerpt from "sick in a sick society: western addiction"